Brawndo. A fake sports drink brand in a satirical movie (Idiocracy) becomes real, and now it’s a real brand but it’s still satirical, and it seems to be satirizing a RabidMacho kind of sensibility, and people who drink it must be mocking that sensibility, right?, except that RabidMacho people will almost certainly love the brand too, so ultimately, no one is distinguishing themselves from anyone else, and what’s the point? Well, the point is the ads. They are hilarious, and that’s enough. Watch the ads here. Here’s a teaser:


[BRAWNDO] It’s like a monster truck you can pour into your face.

It’s got electrolytes. What are electrolytes? I don’t know but they’re extremely awesome. And Brawndo is full of them! They help plants grow, which is why you should drink Brawndo and not water, because water is from the toilet, and I’ve never seen plants grow out of a toilet.

It’s got caffeine: super extra caffeine. And 5 kinds of sugar, which makes it delicious, and much better than other energy drinks, which are NOT delicious.

Drinking it will make you wonder why you’ve never crushed a human skull with your bare hands. But you won’t have to, because you’ll already know that Brawndo tastes how that would feel, which is like having sex with a tractor-trailer in a parking lot.

Rob Walker wrote a great piece about Brawndo a few months back in the NYT.

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